“Everything you need to make a novel takes place at dog height.” Garrison Keillor
We’ve all heard the bit about a roomful of monkeys at typewriters trying to replicate Shakespeare. The best they ever got was something that looked like “banana,” but that could have been an accident. And I wonder, why monkeys? Why not dogs? I would be much more interested in something written by a dog than some smelly monkey. In fact, I believe that dogs would make great novelists.
Dogs work hard
Dogs are some of the hardest working animals out there. They pull our sleds and rescue us from avalanches. They sniff out drugs and help us when we can’t see. Dogs work almost as hard as novelists. Yes, novel writing is indeed difficult. We sit at a keyboard and type – for hours a day, for months or sometimes years. And that gets us the first draft. Then we go through it again, pushing in and pulling out. I’ll say nothing of the work that goes into finding representation, publication, and notification. Novel writing is hard, and if anything out there could do it, it’ll be a dog.
Dogs come in many breeds
There are a variety of dogs, just as there are a variety of writing genre. Dogs and their breeds are perfect for the different kind of books you see at the bookstore. For example, I would have the German Shepherd write crime novels. Beagles would be great for kids books. Yellow Labs are the most popular breed, so I’d let them write Poplit. I can see Dalmatians writing action stories. And Border Collies can write the literary novels because they are so smart.
Dogs are playful
One thing you just have to admit about dogs, and that is they are playful. They are people pleasers if there ever were such a thing. But shouldn’t that also describe the novelist? Not that a writer should ever write just what they think someone else wants. But we need to be aware of the market, and keep that in mind as we write. Moreover, who are you writing for? Any novelist wants to be read and liked. It seems dogs are perfectly suited for this job, because they are the greatest people pleasers ever. Dogs simply make you feel good, just like a good book should.
Dogs are man’s best friend
From our time in caves and through the rise of civilization, in times of hunting, harvesting, or laboring, the dog has always been man’s best friend. If you love a dog, you live longer, it’s that simple. Dogs are God’s proof in Creation that we are loved and should show love. And as long as man could talk, he’s had something to say. And if it’s really worthwhile, he’ll write it down. In history, the story has also been man’s best friend. Books are valuable and serve a purpose. As with all of the arts, novelists help make the world a better place and contribute to the elevation of humanity. Novelists and dogs are both man’s best friend. In fact if I were a dog, I would want a writer to be my owner because we share so much in common.